Oct 24
God.
Today was a great day. I woke up in anticipation for my interview with Carnival Cruise Lines. I was really pissed pretty quickly because my roommate decided to change the time he was supposed to leave. If you know me, you know I'm a detail and time nazi. I need everything to be organized and 'the right way'. We got in an arugument. That was literally the only bad thing that happened today.
I was waiting for the email for the music, and it came an hour later than they said it would. It said 11am, and that they scheduled in Eastern time. After rereading the email at 11:05, I noticed that they actually said 3 different times for the audition. Kinda funny really but it didn't help my nervousness at all. Luckily though, I got the music and had an hour to practice before the phone interview. Before I did though when I was waiting, I prayed. I asked God for some help 'on this one'. That 'I know that I've been very distant lately, but I really needed something to turn things around for me. I really your help.' I took a minute praying. I didn't know why, but lately I've felt like a last resort kind of person. And this was my last resort for some good news.
Long story short(er) I auditioned and played very well, and got the job. I am supposed to ship out in March. I was soooo happy. I can't even explain how great of a feeling it was. Then on top of it, I posted the outcome on my facebook. Over 50 people liked it. 30 comments of sorts. 50. I was seriously touched. I don't think those people realized how much clicking the 'like' button meant to me. For so long I've felt so alone and empty. And then I had 50 people saying, "Congrats man, very well done". 50!!! I almost cried. I literally danced around the house and sung random things for like 2 hours. I can't reiterate enough how much I NEEDED THAT.
Not even hours later, I tweeted Dogfish Head Brewing Company and asked them about a tweet that mentioned Bitches Brew, a specialty beer designed after Miles Davis' Bitches Brew legendary fusion album, a beer I had been searching for, FOREVER. Turns out they're selling it at a restaurant like 15 minutes away. I couldn't freaking believe it.
(download)
And then it got me to thinking. Is there some possible way that all the good events of today happened by coincidence? I mean, was it that random that the day I sincerely asked God for help, that I for some reason had the best day I've had in ages? I've always been cautious with how I feel about Him, but today might have built some bridges.
For now, you and me, God, we're on good terms. I really want to keep in touch and see what else we can accomplish.
Oct 23
Family
I've been watching a TON of Parenthood. (almost completely caught up, actually)
On a side note, I definitely recommend it. I feel like it's a great show, well written and well performed. It's not my all-time favorite show, but I can't really say anything bad about it.
But anyways it's really caused me to say "Oh yeah...!" to a lot of familiar situations with my life. All in all, I've really noticed how much a lack of family life I've had. My grandparents all lived hours away, and my family was never 'close'. There were issues like anybody else, but also I'm not saying I've had it bad by any means. It just wasn't close. Parenthood has really made me want something similar. I just wish that I could've been closer to everyone. I think a new lifetime goal now would be to establish that feeling.
As all things eventually relate back to her, this relates back to what I had with my ex-girlfriends family. They loved me, I think they really did. They always made sure I knew that I was welcome. Cared about me, ate dinner together, said grace--The cheesy shit that those families do. For some reason my girlfriend hated them. She was definitely a "grass is always greener" type of person, but man I was very grateful to have them in my life for a little bit of time. THAT, felt good.
I just think that especially since lately I've been SOOOO alone, all I could use right now is a lot of family. I've fucked up everything in my life, and I have nothing else. I just need some support in some way.
In the meanwhile Mr. MGD has been there for me. Also my new hot girlfriend Netflix has helped even more.
Sigh...
Oct 20
This is stolen
from somebody that I hopefully will meet very soon. We've stalked each other forever, so it'd be fun to meet up IRL once. :-)
It'll be funny if she sees this.
Oct 16
There are 5 things..
that I can aim for in the next portion of my life.
1. girl
2. money
3. music
4. dying
5. college
Pretty self expanitory. I wish I knew what to do. Right now #1 and 4 are tied, then comes #2. Then #3 and #5.
